It is probably fair to say that most of us want to feel that we are in control of our lives and the direction it is going. We want to feel in charge - the notion of having power over the situations and occurrences in our lives can give us a sense of false security.
However, is the idea of having power often an illusion? Are we confusing power for empowerment?
What is the difference?
What does it mean to be empowered?
By Grace Hui for Incentre
The terms “power” and “empower” are often interchangeably used and while there are some overlaps between the two words, they are in reality, quite different.
To be empowered is to have mastery over our emotions and our minds. True mastery does not come from repressing our minds or our feelings. Rather it comes from being aware of them and recognising them for what they are. In other words, our feelings do not define us. Feelings come and go. We are so much more than our transient feelings. In that way, our emotions can be expressed and released without them subconsciously controlling our lives.
By mastering our emotions and feelings, we allow them to pass without letting them take root within us to be projected unknowingly onto something or someone else. In other words, we control our feelings without repressing them but in the same vein, we are not controlled by or running away from our feelings!
The concept of power on the other hand is much less about the self and much more about other things and people that we may or may not have real control over. For example, we can wield power over another person if we have the money to “buy” their loyalty or friendship. Or, they might do our bidding out of fear because of something we have over them. But the second, we lose that “hold” over them so to speak, our control over that situation or that person ceases. In that sense, you never really had control because your control was based on something outside of you. This kind of “power” is an illusion that will never serve our highest goods.
Mere power relies on external factors outside our control. Empowerment on the other hand, comes solely from the self. No one can ever take it away from you and it is imperatively to remember that we ALL have the ability to be empowered.
The thing is - if one is empowered, one will also have power while if one only sought power, one would never be empowered!
How do we have self-empowerment?
The key to empowerment is to know thyself. By truly knowing yourself and your purpose, you will be able to discern what is right for you and have control over your life and its direction in accordance with your higher self.
You will not be living someone else’s purpose or vision or dreams. You will be living life alive!
Truly knowing yourself may be easier said than done. It requires hard work. However, it is also an enriching and rewarding experience. To begin, we first have to remove the distraction of putting the emphasis on what is external to us. It also requires commitment, accountability, and dedication. Ultimately, we are all responsible for the directions of our own lives. To blame it on someone else or something else is as distracting as it is disempowering.
Meditation is a good way to begin. A regular meditation practice gives us the space to calm our minds and to quieten the noise. It gives us the ability to go inward to tap into our inner wisdom without the distraction of someone else’s opinion or judgment.
The confusion between expression and attachment
A frequently asked question along the path of self enlightenment is the concept of anger. Does feeling angry mean that you are less enlightened and less spiritual? The short answer is - OF COURSE NOT.
Everyone has feelings which need to be expressed. By expressing our feelings, we deal with them for what they are - passing feelings. We are not what we feel. Feelings pass. If we do not allow them to be expressed, they cannot pass and if they do not pass, they become something else which in turn muddies the path to self knowledge and self awareness.
Expressing feelings does have to be differentiated from a rant or a toxic emotional dump. The former is a healthy way of release while the latter is premised on our attachments to our feelings.
We abide by the 15-minute rule. For example, we encounter an unpleasant rude barista at the coffee shop. We feel angry and we express it in a measured way. After 15 minutes, however, if we still feel angry, then it is not about what we encountered at the coffee shop but more about our attachment to feeling angry. Is there something else that this encounter has triggered that we have not dealt with within ourselves?
Of course, this is not meant to be an exercise of self-beratement or judgment. Rather, it is an opportunity to be curious about yourself and to heal from areas in your life where you may still be storing hurt.
If you practice this enough, you will soon get very good at discerning between what is a genuine feeling that WILL PASS from what is your attachment to your emotions. By being able to discern between the two, you will have mastery.
This teaching is in line with the lineage-based teachings of the Modern Mystery School. Having a galactic activation might serve us in this respect. Through the galactic activation, we can be supported with the release of all the scattered emotions which will help bring about a state of renewal.
The issue of healthy boundaries
The issue of healthy boundaries is a hot topic these days. Looking at the state of our current world events, perhaps, this is unsurprising.
Before we can talk about healthy boundaries, let’s take a step back to unpack what the term “boundaries” even means.
What are boundaries?
When we talk about boundaries nowadays, we often talk about putting in boundaries against other people. An important aspect of boundaries is also about us not encroaching on the boundaries of others. One cannot be looked at without the other. Both have to be looked at in tandem.
For example, before we do something to “help” someone, are we mindful of whether or not our actions are taking away someone else’s agency? Or, are we taking on something that is not for us to take on because of something unhealed without ourselves?
For example, if we help someone and get caught up in the drama of someone else’s emotions, are we really helping them? Or, are we getting entangled in emotional bonds that deprive the other of walking their path? Are we in some way attached to someone else’s drama? Do we know ourselves well enough to tell the difference?
Before we impose boundaries on others, are we first and foremost boundaried within ourselves?
In a nutshell
It is clear that everything ranging from boundaries to a healthy expression and release of emotions to discernment and attachment stem from truly knowing ourselves. By truly knowing ourselves, we have complete freedom because we will clearly know the difference between what is for us to take on and what is someone else’s journey. We will know what is within our control and release what is not within our control. We will have mastery over our feelings because we will in the same vein also understand the difference between what is a healthy expression of our feelings from what is our attachment to the drama of our feelings.
Real power comes from empowerment and empowerment comes from truly knowing yourself and your divine purpose.
